Friday, July 22, 2011

How to Speak in this world?

I remember watching Leonard Cohen (b. 1934) describe his songs as:  "the response to what struck me as beauty ... whatever that curious emination from a being or an object or a situation or a landscape, you know. That had a very powerful effect on me, as it does on everyone and ... I prayed to have some response to the things that were so clearly beautiful to me ... and they were alive."

 If It Be Your Will

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will

If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well

And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will

If it be your will.

On the same video there were interviews with other artists.
Bono and The Edge from U2 spoke about Cohen's kind of vision
for these things:

Edge - "He's the man, for me, who like, comes down from the
mountaintop with the tablets of stone, you know, having been up
there ... talking to the angels"

Bono - "I didn't, you know, get a religious feeling from him. It
was more ... tacit, or sensual. The world was just really brightly
coloured."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eugenio Montale (1896-1981) produced in his poems this
strange mysticism whereby nature could be used to signify
everything going on internally. Look at his poems In Limine
(On the Threshold) and I Limoni (The Lemons):

In Limine

Godi se il vento ch'entra nel pomario
vi rimena l'ondata della vita:
qui dove affonda un morto
viluppo di memorie,
orto non era, ma reliquiario.

Il frullo che tu senti non e' un volo,
ma il commuoversi dell'eterno grembo;
vedi che si trasforma questo lembo
di terra solitario in un crogiuolo.

Un rovello e' di qua dall'erto muro.
Se procedi t'imbatti
tu forse nel fantasma che ti salva:
si compongono qui le storie, gli atti
scancellati pel giuoco del futuro.

Cerca una maglia rotta nella rete
che ci stringe, tu balza fuori, fuggi!
Va, per te l'ho pregato - ora la sete
mi sara' lieve, meno acre la ruggine ...

On the Threshold (my loose translation)
Enjoy the wind when it enters the orchard
for it may carry back to you life's tidal surge
here in this dead sinking
tangle of memories,
this garden which is actually a  reliquary.

This rhythm you hear is not flight,
it's the movement of the eternal womb;
watch this relegated strip of land
transform into a crucible.
You may see as you move forward
that behind the wall
there she is raging,
the phantom who will save you:
here are made histories
and acts which erase futures.
Look for a hole in the net
that has us bound so tight,
break through and flee from it!
Go, I've prayed this for you -
now my thirst won't be so bad,
my resentment not so bitter.
I Limoni

Vedi, in questi silenzi in cui le cose
s'abbandonano e sembrano vicine
a tradire il lore ultimo segreto,
talora ci si aspetta
di scoprire uno sbaglio di Natura,
il punto morto del mondo, l'anello che non tiene,
il filo da disbrogliare che finalmente ci metta
nel mezzo di una verita.
Lo sguardo fruga d'intorno,
la mente indaga accorda disunisce
nel profumo che dilaga
quando il giorno piu' languisce.
Sono i silenzi in cui si vede
in ogni ombra umana che si allontana
qualche disturbata Divinita.

Ma l'illusione manca e ci riporta il tempo
nelle citta rumorose dove l'azzurro si mostra
soltanto a pezzi, in altro, tra le cimase.
La pioggia stanca la terra, di poi; s'affolta
il tedio dell'inverno sulle case,
la luce si fa avara - amara l'anima.
Quando un giorno da un malchiuso portone
tra gli alberi di una corte
ci si mostrano i gialli dei limoni;
e il gelo del curoe si sfa,
e in petto ci scrosciano
le loro canzoni
le trombe d'oro della solarita.

The Lemons (translated by Jonathan Galassi)
See in these silences where things
give over and seem on the verge of betraying
their final secret,
sometimes we feel we're about
to uncover an error in Nature,
the still point of the world, the link that won't hold,
the thread to untangle that will finally lead
to the heart of a truth.
The eye scans its surroundings,
the mind inquires aligns divides
in the perfume that gets diffused
at the day's most languid.
It's in these silences you see
in every fleeting human
shadow some disturbed Divinity.

But the illusion fails, and time returns us
to noisy cities where the blue
is seen in patches, up between the roofs.
The rain exhausts the earth then;
winter's tedium weighs the houses down,
the light turns miserly - the soul bitter.
'Till one day through a half-shut gate
in a courtyard, there among the trees,
we can see the yellow of the lemons;
and the chill in the heart
melts, and deep in us
the golden horns of sunlight
pelt their songs.

I'm no mystic
but it seems if you watch
and listen
when life is still,
in those moments
which stop you,
you may just find life's secrets.

We don't stop long enough.
We get back to business
and schedules
and memos
and forget what we saw.

Yet we encounter again
in short glimpses
through courtyard fences
a different life going on
in our midst
outside of our categories
which brings our deadened spirits
to life
and it sounds like 10,000 trumpets
are playing
and we're suddenly
before the throne
of the invisible God.

I want to be open to life like this!
I don't worship by looking at creation much.
I don't argue for creationism, nor the existence of God
by the apparent design in nature,
because nature is also full of cruelty
and ambiguity and natural selection
which speaks of godlessness and godforsakenness too.
I think God is met in people,
and the meaning for life found in relationships.
But religious particulars aside
life is brightly coloured
and one must respond.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

How to Live in this World?

I keep asking myself,
I keep feeling like the question is,
how can we live in this world?
how can I live in this world?

I keep wondering,
how is it possible,
to live in a world
that is tearing apart at the seams,
that is bursting forth in violence
and anger and ... goodness too,
that is collapsing in apathy and despair ... but still loving sometimes;
and these dichotomies and dialectics and paradoxes
are playing themselves out emotionally, economically, religiously
all through the world:
how do you live in this world?

How do you live in the world,
any part of the world,
even the privileged part,
the closed-off part,

while Palestinians, South Sudanese,
Yemeni, Egyptians, Libyans, Syrians
are fighting for freedom
in the face of incalcitrant regimes,
while Ethiopians, Somalians and Kenyans
are starving in East Africa
while the U.S. military's budget for 2010 was over $600 billion:
how do you live in this world?

Thomas Merton (1915-1968) said it right,
I think he said it prophetically:
"We are living in the greatest revolution in history - a huge spontaneous upheaval of the entire human race: not the revolution planned and carried out by any particular party, race, or nation, but a deep elemental boiling over of all the inner contradictions that have ever been in man, a revelation of the chaotic forces inside everybody. This is not something we have chosen, nor is it something we are free to avoid.
This revolution is a profound spiritual crisis of the whole world, manifested largely in desperation, cynicism, violence, conflict, self-contradiction, ambivalence, fear and hope, doubt and belief, creation and destructiveness, progress and regression, obsessive attachments to images, idols, slogans, programs that only dull the general anguish for a moment until it bursts out everywhere in a still more acute and terrifying form. We do not know if we are building a fabulously wonderful world or destroying all that we have ever had, all that we have achieved! All the inner force of man is boiling and bursting out, the good together with the evil, the good poisoned by evil and fighting it, the evil pretending to be good and revealing itself in the most dreadful crimes, justified and rationalised by the purest and most innocent intentions."
- Conjectures of a Guilty By-Stander (1966).
 How do I live in this world?

I keep asking myself.
I keep asking myself knowing
that
somehow
getting by, making do,
playing house, shutting off,
will not work
and should not work.

I think,
I'm feeling stronger than ever,
that I cannot live
in resignation and pretending,
sheltered,
turning in (incurvatus in se),
consuming until I grow fat enough not to care
or remember
what's going on out there.
I cannot live like this.

So I'll make an exodus,
a fearful exodus,
step-by-step,
not bravely
but hopefully faithfully
out of the world of numbing satiation
and into the world of involvement
where the pain and the joy
the good and the bad
the decay and the extravagance
are felt acutely
all at once
right there with those people
in those places
that I'd forgotten
and shut-out
for far too long.

In reality,
I made this exodus,
have been making exoduses
again and again
for quite some time.
This dissatisfaction,
and anger,
and hunger
has been perculating
and boiling over
for the last few months
or years.

This exodus
is part of my tradition
inherent in my faith
central to my affirmations
about God and life
and meaning.
Exodus
comes with the territory
of faith,
Christian faith,
Biblical faith.


So as I make an exodus,
from one world to another
in hope of finding how to live
in this world that we share,
I will reflect on
and become a part of
that Biblical Christian tradition
the story of God's life in this world,
where exoduses are permitted, required,
ordained, encouraged.

Practically this means a move to Europe,
and I hope also Palestine,
which has been many years in the making.
Spiritually this means navigating through belief
and unbelief
and everything else
as it all plays out.
Personally this will involve lots of reading
and writing
and praying
which can be recorded here.

So on this blog I'll keep asking,
"how do I live in this world?"